Are You Being Vulgar?

February 22, 2015|Mary Jane Copps
Tweet
Share
Share

“A lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears.”

Dame Maggie Smith, as Dowager Countess of Grantham, Downton Abbey

Among the many “zingers” that Dame Maggie Smith gets to deliver on Downton Abbey, this one captured my full attention. It speaks directly to one of our most important communication skills on the phone – and in life.

Compassion is our ability to think and feel beyond ourselves; to set aside our opinions, needs and situation to focus on that of  the other – our customer, our prospect. Compassion can also be described as empathy, fellow feeling, care, concern, sensitivity, warmth, kindness and humanity.

The world vulgar (which is not a word we encounter very often today) means “a lack of perception” or “common behaviour”  or  “offensive”.

When we aren’t compassionate about our customers’ experience of our company and the service we provide, or about our prospects’ busy schedules and their need for us to be clear and precise, we illustrate our inability to understand their needs. Instead of delivering what is excellent or unique, we deliver what is common, what is easily available from everyone else. And, in some cases, our lack of compassion offends our audience, sending them to our competition or in search of a whole new way of getting what they need.

Excellent communication includes compassion. When you take the time to learn more about your customers and prospects, and respond to what you learn, they will experience your warmth and care. The service you provide will be experienced as both excellent and unique. Customers and prospects will be inspired to stay connected with you – and they’ll want share their experience with others.

Enjoy your PhoneWork everyone!

 

Tweet
Share
Share

7 thoughts on “Are You Being Vulgar?”

  1. Love this edition to your blog, and that too was a favourite line of of mine from that episode. I love that I continue to learn from your experience. Keep sharing!
    Paul

    Reply

    • Thank you, Paul. So fun to know that someone else is catching the same dialogue on Downton. I’m so sorry the season is coming to an end next week. Let me know if there are any other lines you think I can work with!

      Reply

  3. This blog is yummy on so many levels.

    So very awesome that you picked out that line from Downton Abbey. After I heard it I repeated to myself and believe it or not, you came to my mind. I thought , “What would Mary Jane think about that line” and here it is. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    I

    Reply

    • This is so fun, Natalie. I’m honoured that you thought of me when you heard that line! I appreciate that you took the time to share this story with everyone.

      Reply

  4. So glad you picked up on that latest Dowager zinger. It was an ‘A-HUH’ moment for me the instant it came out of her mouth! North Americans seem to have a different use for the word vulgar if they use it at all. I have British friends who still use the word and it always captures my attention! Thanks much for your thoughts on it, another “A-HUH for me!

    Reply

    • Thanks for sharing this, Duane. I’m interested in the fact that the word is still used in Britain. When I looked up it’s etymology I was surprised to learn its true meaning. Also glad to know your business is doing well. Congrats!

      Reply

Leave a comment

When you subscribe to my weekly blog, you'll immediately receive a chapter of The Phone Book - Essential Telephone Communication Skills.

NEW

Topics

Tags

answering the phone art of conversation asking questions b2b phone communication b2b phone sales b2b sales business processes business relationships client communication cold calling conversation skills customer excellence customer experience customer loyalty customer relationship management customer retention customer service customer support difficult communication difficult conversations email communication entrepreneurs etiquette follow up inspire conversation leaving messages listening skills phone customer service phone etiquette phone fear phone phobia phone sales phone sales techniques phone sales training prospecting sales calls sales process sales skills sales strategy sales success sales training selling by phone small business storyfinding voicemail

What's The Phone Lady doing?

  • One-on-one coaching with 6 amazing entrepreneurs - info about sales coaching here
  • Designing a sales campaign - that includes phone conversations - for a waste management consulting firm
  • Creating client communication module for college students
  • Delivering remote learning on essential business communication skills for job search
  • Remote learning experience on sales and customer service skills for vet equipment company
  • Remote learning experience for financial advisors
  • In-person learning experience with new business owners on creating a sales process
  • Remote learning experience on essential skills to reach and inspire conversations with C-suite executives
  • Team coaching for a firm representing natural products for arthritis in dogs
  • Remote learning experience on sales and customer service skills for a transportation company
  • Remote learning experience on both discovery and sales calls for new startups

Do you or your team want to improve your communication skills? Do you have a communication question or challenge you'd like to discuss? This quick-to-fill-out form is easy to use and you'll hear from Mary Jane very soon.