I've spent 20 years teaching people to communicate. Phone anxiety has never been worse. I see it most often among younger employees entering the workforce, and the issue is more complicated than it seems. Find out more.
customer service
Effective conversations rely on confident words. I often get asked, “How did you become The Phone Lady?” I’ll tell the story about a colleague and friend of mine, Sean McDermott, who insisted (back in 2004) that I needed to teach people how to improve their phone conversations. I resisted, but … Read more
What do others take away from their conversations with us? Part of the work I’ve done the past 20 years has involved auditing other people’s conversations. I’ve listened carefully to sales calls, customer service requests and receptionist greetings. The purpose is to provide skills and ideas to improve these interactions … Read more
Clarity delivers confidence. Ambiguity breeds confusion. Think for a moment about the following statements, which we’ve all heard more than once in our lifetime: “We’ll try to get to it this week,” “Your work is generally fine, “We’ll be in touch,” or two of my favourites, “I’m just calling to … Read more
Assumptions don’t only create misunderstandings; they create consequences. Assumptions are my kryptonite. Most of the time, I think quickly. I can pull together disparate pieces of information, discover something new, and come to a conclusion or reveal a new and exciting idea. While this has allowed me to create a … Read more
Listening is not hearing words; it’s giving someone your full attention. One key finding from our 2026 Real-Time Business Conversation Index is that organizations place enormous value on real-time conversations. Yet many struggle to conduct them effectively. This has me constantly asking, “Why?” One obvious answer relates to the most … Read more
Our cherished relationships often started with small talk. Summer’s here and with it there will be lineups for concerts and ice cream, barbeques with people we may not know, and possibly delays at an airport. These are all perfect places to engage in small talk with a stranger. And before … Read more
While confidence is not a prerequisite for having conversations, it is essential for continually creating better conversations. One of the most common barriers to effective real-time conversations isn’t a lack of knowledge; it’s a lack of confidence. For over a decade now, we’ve spent the majority of our time composing … Read more
I’ve always found there’s something seductive about email. When I read a message, even when I have questions or want to clarify something, my fingers are already poised above the keyboard. In some situations, this can be a dangerous moment. Something that could be resolved or decided in a matter … Read more
Have you experienced this in your organization? An issue arises with a client or prospect. There are meetings, conversations, emails — and yet … the issue remains. One respondent in our 2026 Real-Time Business Conversation Index described it this way: “Issues don’t get resolved effectively. They drag on and client … Read more
In our 2026 Real-Time Business Conversation Index, one respondent shared a challenge I’ve witnessed in many organizations: “Mindset prior to engaging in a real-time conversation and how that mindset delays initiating the real-time conversation.” This hesitation most often comes from an assumption we make prior to each conversation. We tell … Read more
We can tell in seconds when a conversation – or an email – is about a transaction or about building a relationship. The transaction is quickly deleted, forgotten. But when someone is interested in us, fully present, asking thoughtful questions and listening to the answers, we drop our defensiveness. And … Read more
There is a communication challenge that happens to all of us at work, at home, even when we’re shopping. We explain something clearly to someone else. We believe we’ve spoken with complete clarity and we move on. And then hours, days or weeks later, we realize the other person understood … Read more
You’ve been in this conversation: You’re speaking, and the other person is already responding. Their words arrive before yours have fully landed. While it may not feel disrespectful on purpose, it does make the conversation less enjoyable, less expansive. Truly listening is an active choice you make in real time. … Read more
A client’s name shows up on your screen. You pause, for just a second, before responding. This pause is the moment where you bring care into the conversation. You might remember something meaningful from your last meeting. Or your voice carries warmth and calm instead of sounding frantic or rushed. … Read more
Trust isn’t created in a single moment. It grows quietly through the way we show up, call after call, conversation after conversation. It begins with the sound of our voices, the tone we choose, and the pause that lets someone else speak. Think for a moment about the last time … Read more
“The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” — George Bernard Shaw Clarity is one of the most underrated communication skills. When our message is rushed, vague or incomplete, we create doubt in the minds of our prospects and clients, leading to hesitation. Clear communication … Read more
As part of celebrating 20 years of The Phone Lady, we’re revisiting what truly makes communication meaningful, one quote at a time. Each week in 2026, we’ll share a bit of wisdom that reminds us that small shifts in how we speak, listen and connect make a big difference. This … Read more
Why do some voicemail messages result in a return call and others don’t? While there are many reasons, one of the biggest contributors to the unreturned call is the detailed message. The role of a detailed message is threefold: To provide information to someone you already know or are already … Read more
This lesson adds more information to my last video on team members avoiding conversations due to a fear of the outcome. Providing team members with a process that can serve as a template for all their conversations is one way to give support and improve both sales and customer service … Read more
“Why does every issue turn into a 40-message Slack thread when one phone call would solve it in five minutes?” This is a sentiment I hear often from business owners and executives. Despite the abundance of communication tools at our fingertips, too many organizations are slowing themselves down by avoiding … Read more
“Where there is no reciprocity, there is no need for listening.” — Ursula Franklin On a Friday evening years ago, I heard Franklin explain how technology can strip away reciprocity, the give-and-take that creates real communication. That idea still guides my work today. When we rely only on emails or … Read more
There’s a four-letter word that slips into our sentences far too often. It’s small, polite, and seems harmless. But it quietly undermines our confidence every time we use it. That word is “just“. “I’m just checking in to see if you got my email.”“I just want to ask if you have … Read more
We live in a fast world. Messages are delivered in milliseconds. People expect answers instantly. And it’s easy to think that speaking quickly signals confidence or competence. But in real-time conversations, especially on the phone or in video calls, pacing is power. When we speak too quickly, we make it … Read more
One of the simplest ways to build trust in real-time conversations, especially on the phone, is to speak clearly. That sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it’s surprisingly common for our words to become rushed, mumbled, or jumbled when we’re: Nervous Tired Multitasking Trying to “move quickly” through a call In … Read more
A lack of confidence in answering calls from customers often relates to a fear of not being able to answer questions. Knowing that it is acceptable to pause and think helps team members overcome this challenge.
There are two types of conversations I rank among the most difficult. One is the “dark” conversation, where the other person only – and consistently – talks about everything that is going wrong. While this can extend to a world view, it is most often focused on their life, health … Read more
This past week, I spent the afternoon with a group of energetic business owners. We worked together to design each company’s approach to customer service. One of the reactions that resulted from our work was, as one participant put it, “I’m realizing I don’t know exactly what our clients are … Read more
Over the holidays, I had a lot of conversations. Some were on the phone, others were on camera and I enjoyed them all. And many of them included interesting communication challenges. This reminded me of a blog series I did back in 2018, which focused on difficult conversations. I began … Read more
If you own a business or are a team member who communicates with clients, colleagues, and/or prospects, you need to consider the voicemail message they hear when they call you. I know many of you are rolling your eyes right now. Perhaps it’s because you aren’t a fan of the … Read more
Spotify became my music platform of choice several years ago. While I was hesitant at first, I have no regrets. Setting up our household account took a bit of time. I was delighted to find and put in our library the majority of the artists and albums that have created … Read more
To celebrate 20 years of The Phone Lady, we're revisiting what truly makes communication meaningful. Every second week, we'll share a bit of wisdom to remind us that small shifts in how we speak, listen, and connect make a big difference. (You'll also receive access to our Exclusive Resources, including 4 ebooks.)
Remember party lines? Switchboards? Yellow Pages? The traditional telephone is almost gone, but its cultural impact deserves a ringing endorsement. Mary Jane weighs in.
A fresh phone hell in the office: Younger workers who don’t say hello when they answer a call need to know it’s a problem. Mary Jane weighs in on generational phone challenges - read here.
Bosses and employees are wrestling over whether voice calls have a place in the hybrid era. The Wall Street Journal recently spoke to Mary Jane. Find out more here.
22 Minutes correspondent Brandon Hackett figures out which end is up on this thing called a telephone, with help from The Phone Lady. Watch Telephone Lessons for Millennials.