Pace Yourself: Why Slowing Down Improves Every Conversation

Woman wearing glasses and a light blue blouse talks on the phone while working on a laptop at a café table by a sunny window, with coffee and water in front of her.

We live in a fast world. Messages are delivered in milliseconds. People expect answers instantly. And it’s easy to think that speaking quickly signals confidence or competence.

But in real-time conversations, especially on the phone or in video calls, pacing is power.

When we speak too quickly, we make it harder for others to absorb and understand what we’re saying. We lose the opportunity to create space for connection, storyfinding, and trust.

Pacing Is an Overlooked Superpower

In my work with sales teams and customer service professionals, pacing is one of the most valuable and overlooked skills. It’s not about being slow. It’s about being intentional. When we slow our speech, we give the listener time to:

  • Catch key points
  • Ask questions
  • Share their own thoughts

And when we pause, briefly and on purpose, we:

  • Create room for nuance
  • Reduce pressure on the listener
  • Give ourselves a chance to breathe, think, and stay present

Your Pace Sends a Message

In both sales and service, your pace communicates more than you might think. A thoughtful, measured pace tells your listener that you are:

  • Listening
  • Respectful of their time
  • In control of the conversation

A Quick Challenge

For your next phone call or video meeting, try this: Listen to your own pace. Then slow it just a little. See what changes.

Real-time conversation skills directly impact leadership effectiveness, customer experience, collaboration, and business growth.

As communication becomes increasingly digital, many professionals spend less time practicing and using the skills required for clear, confident and effective real-time conversations. Explore new options for improvement.

conversation-divide (2)

2 thoughts on “Pace Yourself: Why Slowing Down Improves Every Conversation”

  1. I agree, that pacing and slowing the conversation allows the others to know you are listening and this is important to you.
    Thanks for the reminder

    Reply
    • Thanks, Glenn. I finished a coaching call with a salesperson a few minutes ago. While there were things we focused on for improvement, he received a big gold star for the speed of his conversations and his extremely calm voice. He is able to create connection with clients very quickly because of these skills.

      Reply

Leave a comment

To celebrate 20 years of The Phone Lady, we're revisiting what truly makes communication meaningful. Every second week, we'll share a bit of wisdom to remind us that small shifts in how we speak, listen, and connect make a big difference. (You'll also receive access to our Exclusive Resources, including 4 ebooks.)

Topics

What's The Phone Lady Doing These Days?

 

  • Delivering training to female founders on Validation and Sales + One-on-One Coaching
  • Ongoing one-on-one coaching with business owners
  • Sales skills for proactive calling for the national sales teams of several financial companies
  • Working with The Sales Coaching Institute as the phone sales coach and trainer
  • Skills training for inbound calls for North Amercian home care company
  • One-on-one coaching on both research and sales skills for new team member of a transformative leadership company
  • Communication skills training for veterinary assistants and veterinary technicians with Nova Scotia SPCA College for Animal Welfare

Do you or your team want to improve your communication skills? Do you have a communication question or challenge you'd like to discuss? This quick-to-fill-out form is easy to use. You'll hear from me very soon.