Last week, I received an email from a former client who is now a valued colleague and friend. They were looking for advice on communicating with one of their clients. Their recent Messenger conversation about an event booking in early October had suddenly stopped.
Here’s their email to me:
Hi Mary Jane, I would like to bounce something off you if you don’t mind. It’s one of those things that’s buzzing round my head that I can’t quite seem to put to bed.
Scenario: I did an event for a client last year and it worked really well. It was a great earner, and it was just a lovely event, really nice people. The client has reached back out again to repeat this and I was quite excited about it, but I seem to be hitting radio silence. Previously, in all our other communication, they’ve been really quick to respond.
… I’m just spinning my wheels on this one. I wonder whether just to not follow up again, or what the best course of action would be in your opinion (including not following up again as an option).
We’ve all been in this position in our careers. We hesitate to follow up while, at the same time, telling ourselves stories about why the sudden silence happened.
Silence Creates an Information Vacuum
Our brains are remarkably willing to fill it.
In this case, the vacuum was filled by worrying that a change in pricing was the issue. Two follow-up messages were sent in four days with no reply. With the event date only 16 days away, my colleague thought they’d lost the opportunity and that another message wouldn’t be well received.
Can you guess my response? I’ll share it anyway:
Yes, you should follow up again but first … know that people don’t respond if they don’t yet have a firm answer, i.e. someone hasn’t yet made a decision. And perhaps they’ve been deluged this past week. The lack of response doesn’t usually mean “no”. In this case, they reached out to you, so they know the relationship is valuable. My guess is either they haven’t fully decided, or they are overwhelmed. Best course of action is a quick phone call at this point since the discussed date is so close. You may have to leave a voicemail but the sound of your voice will be more powerful in terms of inspiring a response than words on a screen.
This was not exactly the advice my colleague wanted to receive, but they did take it seriously. Here’s the outcome:
Hi Mary Jane, Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. So, I decided to take your advice, and I even looked up my notes from one of your past workshops to psych me up. lol! Anyway, you were bang on right – I called and they picked up; there had been a death in the family and also they’d been inundated with work for this month and next. Anyway, we had a good chat, and they shared that people had been asking for me to come back (which was lovely to hear) and then we planned to do it later in October to allow a bit more time for planning. In all likelihood, I would not have followed up again in Messenger and would have been too worried about calling and bothering them, which would have resulted in me missing out on this opportunity so thank you!
Mindset Shift
Don’t interpret silence. Get curious about it.
When the relationship matters, the opportunity matters or something seems different from previous interactions, don’t immediately write the ending yourself.
Try This This Week
Think about one conversation that’s suddenly stopped.
Perhaps it’s:
- a prospect who hasn’t responded to your proposal
- a client who normally replies quickly
- a colleague who hasn’t answered an important question
- someone with whom a conversation has stalled
Instead of deciding that their silence means something – like they are too busy, or not interested, or not happy about the pricing, or think you’re being a pest – ask yourself, “What do I actually know?”
If the answer is “not much,” make the call. Not because you want to pressure them but because our valuable relationships don’t deserve assumptions. They deserve a conversation.
Thank you for this reminder, not only is it good for my own interactions with colleagues but it is good for me to remember my role on the other side of the interaction as well. Hope all is well with you!
Our lives are so full I think it has become more challenging to do all the necessary follow up. Writing this post was a good reminder for me as well. 🙂 Great to hear from you Sheri and I hope all is well in your world.