Whether we are presenting a proposal to potential clients or troubleshooting on behalf of a customer, it is vital that our language fully supports confidence in our products and services.
Recently, I’ve noticed an increase in the use of a two-word phrase with the opposite impact. When used, no matter what statements follow, the harm is done. Doubt has entered the conversation.
This small phrase is seemingly inoffensive, yet it can easily result in the loss of customers and opportunities.
What is this phrase? How is it being used? What can we say instead?
The words are ‘kind of”. This phrase originated in the 1590s and indicates that something is similar to something else. For example, I might say to someone, “Tahini is kind of like peanut butter” or “Microsoft Teams is kind of like Zoom.”
Used during presentations and conversations that are related to our knowledge or skills, the phrase creates doubt.
Let’s say I’m reviewing a proposal with a client and explaining how I’m customizing the content of a webinar series. I say, “What I’m kind of doing here is using information from my audit of your team’s phone conversations.”
This raises questions for the client, such as “Is she using the audit information or not?” and “Did she even listen to the audio files we sent her?” Using ‘kind of’ creates doubt around my process and my honesty.
The same thing occurs when providing support to a customer. I recently had to contact my bank about an issue with my online access. This call went well; however, if at any point the support person had said, “We kind of want to do this next … ” or “I’m kind of thinking the right thing to do is …”, I would have heard they didn’t know what they were doing.
Anyone can easily use this phrase, which is why it’s so important to record and listen to our conversations or have someone audit our calls or presentations and provide specific feedback.
Eliminating ‘kind of’ is straightforward.
This doesn’t mean it will be easy! We don’t have to replace it with anything. Simply stop using it.
Here are my examples with ‘kind of’ removed:
- “What I’m doing here is using information from my audit of your team’s phone conversations.”
- “We want to do this next …”
- “I’m thinking the right thing to do is …”
What’s your reaction to the phrase ‘kind of’? What other words or phrases are you encountering that undermine clarity and confidence? Share your thoughts in the comment section below so we can learn from each other.
I hear that phrase, “kind of,” in podcasts and interviews a lot too, and I always find it irksome as well. Either it is or it isn’t, I want to shout.
One reason it may be popular is because the speaker doesn’t want to sound too authoritative. In the populist political landscape south of the border especially (which is where I get most of my podcasts), expertise can be frowned on and it’s average Joe whose opinion is more important.
I also think it’s used more by women, in an attempt to soften their speech lest their knowledge and opinions offend.
I hadn’t thought about it’s use in terms of avoiding sounding authoritative, Gwen. I appreciate that view. And yes, women have often been taught to soften their speech. Like you, whenever I hear it I want to ask the same question you mention: “Well is it or isn’t it?”