When Ten Minutes Becomes Three Days

April 15, 2026|Mary Jane Copps

Woman sitting at a desk with hands clasped, looking thoughtful and slightly concerned while considering a decision.

I’ve always found there’s something seductive about email. When I read a message, even when I have questions or want to clarify something, my fingers are already poised above the keyboard.

In some situations, this can be a dangerous moment. Something that could be resolved or decided in a matter of minutes can quickly morph into a days-long thread of confusion, annoyance and even lost business. 

One of the respondents to our 2026 Real-Time Conversation Index put this challenge this way:

“The wasted time in back and forth emails with clients to resolve an issue.”

A few years ago, this exact scenario was why I had the privilege of working with a company in Atlanta. Emails between accounts payable and a long-standing client had reached the point of aggressive language and the near-departure of that client. 

How was it finally resolved? There was a 10-minute conversation between the client and the CEO. A similar conversation could have been organized by accounts payable, avoiding days of acrimony. 

While email makes us feel efficient and productive, this isn’t always true.

Email, in its ideal form, is a tool for documentation, not resolution. Long email threads are usually the result of:

  1. Assumptions by one or both parties that are never clarified. They become misunderstandings that continually build with each reply.
  2. The misinterpretation of tone—even the most neutral message can be read as negative or sarcastic.
  3. Neither party takes ownership of finding and presenting a resolution. 

Resolution doesn’t come from more words on a screen. It comes from real-time conversation—where questions are answered immediately, tone is clear, and decisions actually get made.

So how do you know when to stop typing and start talking? Watch for these signals:

  • There are multiple questions in play.
  • Your response is getting longer and more detailed.
  • You catch yourself thinking, “What do they mean by that?”
  • The tone suggests frustration, urgency, or tension.

When these show up, don’t reply. Start a conversation.

Try this this week:

Go back to a long email thread with a client. Ask yourself:

  • How long did this take to resolve?
  • How many messages were exchanged?
  • At what point should this have become a conversation?

Then take it one step further to strengthen your team’s confidence. Reach out to that client and ask: “How would you have felt about resolving this in a quick call instead?” The answer will help everyone make these conversations happen.

Real-time conversation skills directly impact leadership effectiveness, customer experience, collaboration, and business growth.

As communication becomes increasingly digital, many professionals spend less time practicing and using the skills required for clear, confident and effective real-time conversations. Explore new options for improvement.

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To celebrate 20 years of The Phone Lady, we're revisiting what truly makes communication meaningful. Every second week, we'll share a bit of wisdom to remind us that small shifts in how we speak, listen, and connect make a big difference. (You'll also receive access to our Exclusive Resources, including 4 ebooks.)

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